Step right up! Play the right-wing talking points shell game! Follow the little pea - watch carefully as our crafty friend avoids giving you a straight answer by constantly switching issues:
Q: So, Republican person. The financial crisis caused an unexpected recession, which reduced government revenues. I'd like to discuss proposed adjustments to our current free trade agreements that might bring jobs home and make us a little less dependent on imports.
A: That can be accomplished with tax cuts.
Q: You do realize I'm talking about the trade deficit not the budget deficit.
A: Of course, I'm saying close the trade gap with China.
Q: That was my original point - you would agree, then, that trade policy should see some changes in order to stimulate our economy?
A: That's not what I said. I said if we keep borrowing money from China, it will be a burden on our children. That's irresponsible.
Q: Well we didn't have to borrow when Clinton had a budget surplus - what's so unreasonable about raising taxes back to 1994 levels? After all, we are in a crisis.
A: You can't tax the wealthiest Americans who already pay the bulk of taxes - it's a disincentive. The problem is that spending is out of control.
Q: Back up. I was talking about free trade and you changed the subject. Corporations are outsourcing jobs in order to pay slave wages to foreigners instead of paying Americans to do the work. You want to reward this behavior?
A: Small businesses are the backbone of our economy and they're being crushed by taxes.
Q: What's that got to do with free trade agreements and outsourcing?
A: The middle class working American who just lost his job to a Mexican illegal does not want to hear about underpaid Asians. What he needs is school choice.
Q: Can we please talk about free trade - NAFTA is responsible for that middle class worker losing his job and also for the desperate Mexicans coming here illegally - the flood of cheap US corn drove Mexicans off of their family farms and across our borders.
A: Listen to me: real Americans are tired of the government interfering in their lives! You hand out condoms to high school kids and it just encourages abortions. Free trade is the same as returning prayer to our public schools.
Q: What the fuck are you talking about?
A: In a post 9-11 world, free trade is directly related to National Security, and I for one am not ready for the anchor babies to become a mushroom cloud.
Q: Can we get back to free trade?
A: I'll tell you who needs free trade, America's seniors who are having Obamacare shoved down their throats!
Q: Free Trade, sir.
A: Once we handicap our own companies from competing internationally, you start getting things like the Ground Zero Mosque!
Q: How does a Muslim community center promote FREE TRADE?
A: The War on Christmas.
A: The Second Amendment.
Q: That has nothing to do with it.
Q: Oh, Jesus F. Christ.
A: Pulled himself up by his bootstraps.
Q: You can go on like this forever, can't you?
A: Drill, baby drill.