Deficit Spending is Good. More, Please!

Bozo

  I woke up to my NY Times this morning and saw a snarky full page ad against the deficit.  As usual, it threw around terms like budget, deficit, and debt in order to scare and confuse readers.  Of course it opened with the big 46 - you're going to be hearing that number a lot - 46% of the income taxes come from the top 2% of earners.  The tag line was that even if we taxed ALL of the income of the top 2%, it would only cover half the federal budget, and then all the wealthy people would "Go Galt."
  First of all, whoever paid for this ad, fuck you, you liar.
  Second of all:
  1. Income taxes are not the whole picture.  There are lots of different taxes we pay, including payroll taxes, sales taxes and property taxes.  When you take into account ALL of the taxes we Americans pay, the bottom 98% pays more than the top 2%. Liar.

  2. 46% represents the actual dollar amount of income taxes only - individual rich people pay effective tax rates of 0-10% in most cases, because they have really good accountants and lawyers. They should be paying a lot more than 46% since they make more than 46% of the money. My wife and I I know a couple who took in over $250,000 last year and wound up paying 2,200 in federal income tax, less than 1%. It's not hard when you have an S corporation and money to hire an accountant. Bastards!
  3. You're gonna "Go Galt?" Go ahead. Get lost! Don't let the screen door hit your ass on the way out.  There are currently about 300 people capable of doing your job for less money right now.  Arrogant, lying piece of shit.

Atlas Flopped

  4.  "Atlas Shrugged" is officially a box office flop, even with you all backing it. Straight to rental, baby. Y'know why?  Because it sucks. I have a collection called the Great Books of the Western World.  Two Karl Marx books are included alongside Aristotle and Shakespeare.  Ann Rand is not. Selfish, lying freak. And yes, I'm spelling it A-n-n. Fuck you.
  5. The national debt is made up of bonds the government sells at 1% or less - we got a great, super amazing deal on those loans.  It's cheap money - no reason not to take it. As long as we don't "go Sheen," as in spending it all on hookers and blow, borrowing money cheap is good.  We get to invest it, make more than 1% and TURN A PROFIT. Borrowing money is part of doing good business.
  What do the rich really fear about deficit spending?  Inflation and taxes. The two things that can make lazy rich people less rich.
  Make believe for a second that you inherited $500 million, making you a relatively small playa in today's america - not even scratching the Fortune 500, but still a shitload better off than everybody you know.  As you sit and watch SpongeBob, sitting on a pile of pretty jewels, what do you need to do in order to stay rich?
  Well you don't have to work, because your money can make money, keeping you perpetually wealthy. Just don't lose your money.  That's your gig.  As long as you make a lousy 1% return on your investments, that's $5 million a year.  Taxes can lower your return on investment, so you have to watch out for that. Inflation can reduce the buying power of your money, so that's a thing.  But hell, they could cut your check in half and you'd still be living large.
  So you buy have someone buy an ad against deficit spending, because the government might tax your pile of jewels more. The dollar might also lose value and cause inflation, and Inflation means a golden toilet costs more, so you can only have 8 instead of 25. This makes you feel less rich.
  Instead of wonking out any further, let me just say this: "expert" economists are all on the take (or trying to sell books) and they've never been able to predict shit.  Don't ever let someone start telling you what the government should or should not be borrowing, printing, easing, deflating, or spending. Not even me.
  Because we will all feed you all kinds of lines trying to get in your pants. Ignore it. You have a simple platform: more money, more free shit, cheaper stuff at the store, and more vacations.

grey poupon, please

  What the hell do you care about a deficit? We've had a deficit every year of your fucking life except 1999 - what difference did it make? Did you get laid more when we had no deficit? No. Did everybody get a free car? No. Were there better TV shows? NO!
  In the 70's, when I was a kid, the experts told my parents "Your grandchildren will have to pay off this enormous debt!" Bullshit - my kids were born in the late 90s when there was a surplus - extra money lying around - no deficit whatsoever.
  Until Bush cut taxes and ruined it.
  They're gonna do what they're gonna do.
  So fuck the deficit, OK? Everybody on TV is full of shit. It doesn't matter.  In fact, it helps even out the wealth and kicks the rich in the nuts a little, which is cool. Vote for whoever promises to stop the wars and give you free shit. (Hint: It ain't gonna be no goddamned republican.)

UPDATE:  HuffPo slave writer agrees with me, and I forgot about Dick Cheney ("deficits don't matter").